


Paper Airplanes

by homoeroticmisogyny



Category: Homoerotic Misogyny (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, F/F, Gen, Heist, La casa de papel AU, Robbery, Spain, also the major character death doesn't happen for a while don't worry ;), also this is an arturito and juicy jeremy hate account, i just loved the dynamic of slutrio as berlin/nairobi/tokio which turned into this <3, lune is endgame later!! so is tal/dieke!, slowburn, the sexual tension is real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29658594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticmisogyny/pseuds/homoeroticmisogyny
Summary: Amidst the chaos of a school field trip, Issa, Max, Audrey, Elena, and more implement Lucy's plan to rob the Royal Mint of Spain. But will they be able to pull of the heist as planned? Or will there be casualties?(Homoerotic Misogyny Money Heist AU)
Relationships: Dieke Helena Pelides/Tal Avdotya Joseph, Isabel "Issa" Banquo/Audrey Riverdale Kuragin/Elena Kuragina (Homoerotic Misogyny) (Implied), Isabel "Issa" Banquo/Max Theodore Enjolras, Lucy Ishmael Ganymede/June Gabler
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

_Ang pangalan ko, Paris, pero bago sa lahat na ito, di yan ang tawag nila sa akin._

My name is Paris. But when all this started, that wasn’t what they called me.

**THE DAY OF THE HEIST - 8:00 AM**

“Hey,” Lucy poked her head into Issa and Max’s shared hotel room. “We leave in an hour for the Royal Mint. Get ready.”

Issa shot up in bed, her hair disheveled and Rilakkuma-patterned pajamas wrinkled. “Yes, _Professor._ ”

Lucy sighed. “I told you guys you don’t need to call me that, Paris _._ Knock it off.” 

Issa rolled her eyes as Max grumbled next to her and stuck his head out the side of the blankets, the penguins on his shirt stretching awkwardly. “Robbery time?” 

Lucy sighed. “Why are you guys in the same bed again? There’s a couch right there,” she said, pointing to the ratty item in the corner. Max wrinkled his nose, blond hair falling in his eyes.

“It’s gross and uncomfortable!” Issa explained airily. “Neither of us is willing to do that. We’re both too pretty.”

Lucy flicked her glasses back up the bridge of her nose and shrugged. “Fine, whatever. Just remember the first rule: No. Relationships.” With that, she spun on her heel and walked out, Max snickering behind her. 

“I heard that, Pompeii!” Lucy yelled back as the door slammed closed behind her.

**FIVE MONTHS EARLIER**

Turning away from the window, Lucy surveyed the eight faces looking at her expectantly. She had been planning this for months - years, really, if she was being honest - and yet she still was not confident that her plan was perfect. And she _needed_ a perfect plan, could not risk anything going awry, especially not when her friends’ lives were going to be at stake. In that moment, the snowy landscape outside the window seemed less forbidding than the task that awaited them. 

“You’re probably wondering why I called you here,” she began, and Elena snickered. “What?” Lucy snapped, turning around to face them. Elena pointed behind Lucy, and she spun towards her blackboard, which read “ROBBING THE ROYAL MINT OF SPAIN: MONEY, HEISTS, AND YOU”.

Lucy gulped. “Ah, yes. Well, then, uh, that is indeed why you are here. I’ve gathered you to rob the Royal Mint of Spain.” She began to pace the floor in front of the board, scooping a piece of chalk into her hand.

The eight stared at her, and Emma slowly raised their hand. “Uh… why?”

Lucy stopped in her tracks, then replied shortly “It’s not important.” Audrey scoffed, and Lucy shot her a glare, setting the chalk back down with a clang. “What’s important is this: are you all in?”

She made eye contact with each of them in turn. One by one, Issa, Audrey, Elena, Max, Dieke, Emma, Wren, and Ava all nodded, some more reluctantly than others. Lucy breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

“Why isn’t the entire club involved?” Wren asked in the silence that followed. A few others nodded as if they’d been thinking the same thing.

“We can’t involve too many people, because at some point it becomes a liability. Too many mouths to keep shut. You all are here for very specific reasons.” Lucy paused. “But before we get into that, here’s the basic plan...” 

**THE DAY OF THE HEIST - 8:55 AM**

As their tour group walked up the steps of the Royal Mint, Issa ran the steps of the plan through her head one last time, remembering the group’s very first meeting.

_Step one: We enter the Mint as schoolkids - which we are - on a tour._

_Step two: We separate one by one from the group, some going to the bathroom, some simply wandering off on the pretense of being curious and absent-minded. Some have specific tasks to complete, others don’t._

_Step 3: Lucy will activate the alarm system from outside, drawing the guards out and shutting the rest of the group in there - with no guards, only other tour groups and guides - including the daughter of the Danish king’s advisor, Ophelia._

_Step 4: Print as much money as possible for as long as possible._

_Step 5: Get out alive._

_(Step 5A: Don’t let there be any casualties)_

Issa still wasn’t sure why she was part of this group, anyway. Everyone else had their talents; they were specially picked for this mission. Audrey, the leader; Max, the tech expert; Elena, the forgery supervisor; Wren and Ava, combat experts; Emma, negotiation expert; and Dieke, there for morale. 

Issa, just there. Issa, the liability. Issa, who _“had nothing to lose,”_ as Lucy had so gracefully put it. 

Issa, who was also Paris, who wondered when she’d finally know who she truly was.

**FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER**

“Welcome to the second meeting of our heist group!” Lucy announced, trying to get her fellow students to quiet down. “Last week was just a basic intro to the plan and each of your roles in it. Today, we’ll be going over the rules.”

A slight groan made its way throughout the room. Lucy pushed her glasses up, annoyed, and rapped on the board. “Yes, rules! This is going to be dangerous, and we need to make sure we’re responsible and safe in the way we go about it.”

“I like that you say “responsible” as if we are not going to literally rob the government of a foreign country,” Emma put in. Dieke pulled away at her feet as the older girl ruffled her hair.

“We can still be responsible in how we go about it!” Lucy retorted, though she didn’t sound too sure. She turned towards the board and scrawled “NAMES” across it. 

“Names. You have one, I have one, we all have one.”

“Wise words,” muttered Issa sarcastically.

“For the purposes of this heist, you will not use your real names.”

“Oh, great. We’re supposed to have code names now? What is this, a spy novel?” Audrey shifted her feet, which rested on top of a nearby desk.

“It’s safer! If you use different names with each other while you’re in there, it’ll decrease your chances of having your identities found out, and it’ll help make it feel less personal.” Lucy rapped the board. “I need you all to choose a city to be your name.”

“Cairo!” Wren blurted out immediately, then turned slightly red. Lucy wrote down CAIRO on the board.

“Anyone else have one already?”

“Uh… Athens,” offered Dieke.

“I’ll take Auburn.” Lucy nodded to Emma in assent.

“This is stupid,” Elena complained. “We all already know each other’s names, anyway.”

Lucy glared at her. “Well, you aren’t going to use them in the Royal Mint. Not on my watch. City?” Elena looked up at the ceiling. “Now, please.”

“Fine! Fine. Um… Verona.”

“Thank you,” Lucy replied shortly.

“Ooh! I’ll take Pompeii,” Max piped up from the corner, tugging on the sleeve of his striped sweater.

“Can I do Florence?” Ava asked. Lucy continued writing the names on the board.

“I’ll take Paris,” Issa said suddenly. 

“Great. Audrey?” Lucy looked expectantly to the older girl, who was now typing something on her phone. “Audrey!”

Audrey didn’t even bother to look up, just said “I don’t care. Give me a city,” and continued typing. Lucy sighed and wrote BELGRADE on the board.

“Great! Now that we have these, I expect you to learn these names before the heist. We have about four months before the field trip to Spain, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I can’t make you use the names outside of the event itself, but it would be nice if you could try to familiarize yourself with them.” 

“What are we going to call you?” asked Issa from where she was sitting practically on Elena’s lap. “You can’t make us call each other some stupid city name and then not have one yourself.”

Lucy paused at this. “Oh. Uh. I mean, I won’t be in the building with you, but I’m sure there’s an acceptable solution to this dilemma. Let me get back to you on that one.”

Issa laughed at her. “Sure, Professor.”

“Hm?” Lucy asked, her back turned to her as she glanced over a notecard she’d pulled out of her pocket.

“I know you love doing this because you get to act like our professor, Lucy,” Issa continued. “Don’t lie to me.”

Lucy huffed, flicking her glasses once again, and didn’t deign to respond. 

“Anyway, all in favor of calling Lucy the Professor during the heist, say aye!” Elena broke in. Lucy tried to ignore them.

“Aye,” most of the crowd echoed, though some seemed lost or unsure about it.

“So, it’s decided. Sound good, Professor?” Issa said pointedly.

“Fine,” Lucy said, sighing, and Issa and Elena high-fived.

**THE DAY OF THE HEIST - 9:05 AM**

“Professor,” Issa said, tapping her earpiece. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” Lucy’s voice sounded in her ear, a bit too loud for comfort. Issa fidgeted with the settings for a moment.

“Great. We’re in.” 

With those words, the magnitude of what they were about to do hit Issa in full force. She hadn’t even thought it through before agreeing to the heist, simply looked around the room at her friends and agreed. Now, as the stood in the main hall of the Mint, she wondered if maybe a little reflection would have served her well in this case.

Issa may have been impulsive, but she had never been one for huge risks. She preferred to fuck up her life one late night after another. But this? Robbing the mint of a foreign country was going to change her life forever. In fact, it was almost certainly going to ruin it. 

Steeling herself, Issa glanced around the main room, noting the security cameras in each corner but making sure not to stare at them too intently. Any minute now, they should switch off; Max had asked to go to the bathroom the second they got in and, accompanied by Ava and Wren to knock out the two guards outside the control room, was theoretically about to disable the security system.

Issa watched Emma and Dieke wander off together, Emma slinging her arm around her younger cousin’s shoulders. The two were headed to the office of the lead official of the Mint, Juicy Jeremy, who they would lure out of his office overlooking the front courtyard and down to the hallway by claiming that a flashmob was taking place in the main hall and that they’d been sent to collect him. 

The next to leave were Elena and Audrey, who would actually head to the bathrooms, and stay there until the commotion was over. 

That left only Issa, who was to stay in the main hall and alert the guards as to what was happening outside if they didn’t seem to notice. 

Although how they wouldn’t notice an explosion going off in the open space in front of the Royal Mint was a bit beyond Issa, to be honest. She suspected she was just placed here to sow more chaos.

As if her musing over the plan had sparked it, a loud crash sounded from outside. The room quieted to a dull murmur as the three guards at the front doors sprinted out to investigate the noise, which in reality was Lucy igniting a loud smoke bomb a few meters away from the front of the edifice. Issa glanced around and caught sight of two more guards, the last in the room, making their way towards the doors cautiously. Taking a moment to settle her beating heart, Issa sprinted over to them.

“¡ _Señor_ ! _”_ she cried, tugging on one of their arms like a whiny child as she recited one of the sentences in Spanish that Lucy had made her memorize. “ _Creo que vi alguien salir del edificio con una bolsa muy grande.”_

Sir, I think I saw someone leave the building with a very large bag.

The guard stopped and looked at her, annoyance crossing his face. “¿ _Qué dice, señorita?”_ What are you saying, miss?

“ _Solo que… no sé… a lo mejor alguien se ha aprovechado del ruido para -”_ But the guard did not need further explanations, and he grabbed his partner by the arm and took off running. The second he was out the door, Issa slid towards the now-vacated security desk, which contained the button to close the doors. She scanned the upper balcony for the signal she needed. _No one there… not yet… Aha!_

Wren came hurrying out of a hallway that led to the upper level, her hood bouncing behind her. Glancing over the panicked crowd of people below her, she gave Issa a curt nod - Max had successfully shut down the system of security cameras, Wren had taken care of the two guards on the upper level, and Ava was downstairs dealing with the two who patrolled the door to the machines and vault. 

After a second of hesitation, Issa slammed her open palm down on the bright red button, and the doors of the Royal Mint of Spain slid closed with a forbidding _clang._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heist continues as, in the past, Issa finds out Lucy's true motivation. A member of the team is injured.

**DAY 1 OF THE HEIST - 9:20 AM**

“I don’t know what’s happening, I’m sorry,” whispered one of the hostages to the younger girl beside her. Issa, striding through the hall towards the staircase at the end, shot them a dirty glare. The younger girl was Ophelia, the precious hostage who would allow them to make half of their demands. The daughter of the advisor to the Danish king, Claudius, Ophelia was also a close friend (or perhaps even lover) of Prince Hamlet’s. She was the ultimate bargaining chip when it came to negotiations with the Spanish government, and the robbers needed to keep an eye on her.

Issa reached the end of the large hall and took the stairs two at a time, her violet jumpsuit flashing in the natural light of the large windows. Reaching the door at the top of the staircase, she turned the knob and stuck her head into the hallway. “BELGRADE!” she yelled down it. There was no response. Issa sighed, frustrated. “Belgrade! Can you get the hostages to calm down and get in order?” she said in a slightly quieter tone of voice.

Audrey stepped out sluttily from a nearby hallway, rolling her eyes. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you  _ needed  _ me, Paris,” she said, approaching the younger woman.

“Fuck you,” Issa responded, and turned on her heel to make her way back down the stairs.

“That wasn’t a complete denial!” Audrey’s voice followed her from a distance, and Issa shook her head. 

A few second later, Audrey banged the door open loudly with her boot, clutching a pistol in each hand. She fired each one once at the ceiling, prompting a bout of screaming from the hostages.

_ Jesus,  _ Issa thought,  _ Audrey really doesn’t know how to do anything quietly, does she? _

“Shut up!” Audrey yelled at the group of about 50 high schoolers, guides, and other guests below her, proving Issa correct. Intimidated by the sleek guns Audrey was brandishing in her hands, the whispering group quieted. Audrey smiled, the corners of her mouth turning up just the slightest bit. “Good. You’re getting the hang of it.”

Issa stepped out from where she’d been waiting at the foot of the stairs, hand on the gun slung around her waist. The weapons had been snuck in on a supply truck, tucked in between rolls of unprinted money by Lucy a few hours before. 

“In case you haven’t noticed by now,” Audrey went on, “You…  _ happy few…  _ now find yourselves in the middle of a heist.” She stuffed one pistol back into its holster. “And if you’re smart, you’ll do exactly as we tell you for however long it takes us to get out of here.” From the middle of the room, the governor of the bank huffed, his hands in his shorts pockets.

In an instant, Issa was behind him, clutching the back of his shirt. Her pastel-painted nails dug into his neck. She watched the middle-aged banker and theatre aficionado squirm for a moment, then uttered “Watch yourself” and dropped him to the floor. Juicy Jeremy gulped.

“Thank you, Paris,” Audrey pronounced from above. “As I was saying, you will obey our orders.” From the door at the top of the stairs, Elena, Dieke, and Emma walked out with bags of identical violet jumpsuits. “You will all put on these jumpsuits, and any time we have visual contact with the outside, you will be wearing the same masks as us.”

As one, the members of the heist reached behind their heads and pulled masks fashioned after Tolstoy’s face over their heads, swiveling to face the hostages.

“No one will be able to tell you and us apart.”

**DAY 1 OF THE HEIST - 9:15 AM**

“ _ Joder! _ ” cursed the head of the Spanish security and police department, spittle flying out of his reddened face. “What do you  _ mean  _ it’s a bunch of schoolkids?”

Iván Deib’s phone crackled. “Just what I said, sir. The thieves who shut everything down appear to be part of one of the school groups on tour today. We’re not sure, though.”

Deib ran his hand over his head, frowning. “This is ridiculous. Can’t you get in? Check the security cameras, at least?”

“The security system is down, sir. And the lockdown procedure is severe. No other doors except the main one were open at the time, and that’s now sealed with a metal lock controlled only from the inside.” 

The gruff older man closed his eyes, wishing he had any other job in the world right now. Being robbed by a bunch of foreign brats had not been high on his bucket list.

“Get me an inspector here now. Stat.”

“Yes, sir,” said the voice on the other end of the line

“Wait!” Deib interrupted him suddenly. “Hold on. How old are we talking about here?”

“Probably between fifteen and twenty, sir. That’s the average age range of the school groups who tour the Mint.”

Deib nodded slowly. “Do we have anyone at the academy that’s well-versed in negotiation? A student, I mean.”

A pause. “Sánchez over here says there’s one named June Gabler. She’s not in the academy, though - she goes to the international school next door. An exchange student from Canada. She always beats the trainees in the inter-school debates.”

Iván Deib hesitated, but not for long. “Send her over.”

The line clicked off.

**DAY 1 OF THE HEIST - 9:30 AM**

Lucy paced the floor of her garage hideout. To the south wall, then back. North, then back. Reroute around the control table, then start again.

Maybe if she concentrated hard enough on the echo of her footsteps in the abandoned building, then she wouldn’t worry so much about her frie- no, her  _ partners in crime-  _ who were quite literally putting their lives on the line right now.

The heist was supposed to be bloodless, victimless. If all went according to plan, then there would be no deaths - a couple injuries, at most.  _ If all went according to plan. _ Lucy scoffed. Since when was any plan of hers foolproof?

Lucy put on a confident front, sure, but that was because she had to. If she didn’t believe in the plan, then nobody would. If nobody did, she would never fulfill her mother’s dream.

Her mother’s dream: the perfect heist. A heist where the money they robbed was not taken from anyone, but created from scratch. A heist where no one died, where guns were there for show and spectacle and certainly not for shooting. A heist where the police would be strung along searching for a needle in a haystack, only to come up empty. 

That was this heist, ideally. But as Lucy paced the puddle-ridden floor of what would be her home for the next week or so, she couldn’t help feeling a twinge of doubt.

**ONE MONTH BEFORE**

“Hey, Professor,” Issa called, rapping on the classroom door. “You in there?”

Lucy mumbled an affirmative, and Issa snuck into the room. “I wanted to talk to you about something that I - and a few of the others - have been wondering about.”

“Go ahead,” Lucy said, her head still stuck in a book of Spanish poetry.

Issa pulled it out of her hands, to Lucy’s indignance. “Hey. I need you to actually listen to me.” Lucy sighed and gestured for her to go ahead. “I know you’ve said you have reasons beyond money and, yknow, fucking over the system to go through with this heist. And I know those reasons are probably personal, and I don’t have any right to know them. But… I guess… I don’t know if I can do this if it’s some sort of sick twisted revenge.”

Lucy scrunched up her nose. “Issa…” she began. The older girl waited, eyeing her suspiciously. “It’s not a  _ twisted _ revenge. But it is revenge, I suppose. In a way.” 

The set of Issa’s jaw hardened.

“My mother… she spent her life dreaming up elaborate heists. She spun tales to me as a kid where our family - me, my older sister, and her - would rob the biggest millionaires and government buildings in Spain. Sort of a Robin-hood type deal.”

“So… heists run in the family?”

“Not exactly. I said she spent her life  _ dreaming  _ of heists. She never completed a single one. Too scared, perhaps, of what might befall her. She was already in enough danger as a politician.” Lucy’s voice tightened. “It didn’t matter. They killed her anyway.”

Issa’s heart dropped. “They, who?”

Lucy laughed bitterly. “The Guardia Civil, who else? It’s never safe to disagree with the government in that country. Shot her in the back as she entered the grocery store.” Her voice wavered, but she kept going. “They justified it by claiming she was planning to rob the government, showing a few sketches. The truth? Those sketches were fake plans to rob the Bank of Spain, which is almost impossible. They knew she wasn’t going to do anything, those bastards. And they-” Lucy blinked back a tear. An extended quiet invaded the room.

“Anyway. Now you know the reason.”

Issa was still. “Lucy, I..”

Lucy shushed her. “I don’t want your pity. I want your silence.”

“What?”

“You can’t breathe a word of this to any of the others. I told you this because I know you; I know you wouldn’t rest until you found this out, at any cost. But they don’t truly need to know. Please, leave it between us.”

Issa softened, handing Lucy her book of poetry back. “I will,” she said, giving the younger girl a quick hug and heading out the door. “Professor,” she added on the way out, prompting a slight smile to play on Lucy’s lips.

**DAY 1 OF THE HEIST - 10:15 AM**

Leaning over, Max fiddled with the lace of his boot, untying and retying it over and over. His hands moved at the speed of light, channeling the nervous energy that flooded his body into this one task.

“Hey,” Issa said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” Max stilled at her touch and slowly got up.

“No,” he whispered, anguished. “What if this goes wrong? What if we kill someone? What if they kill one of  _ us,  _ goddamn it?!”

“Hey,” Issa said, bundling him into a hug. “Nothing is going to happen. We’re just going to go out there if they try to attack the building, fire a few shots in their vicinity, and come back inside.” 

Max nodded but didn’t respond. Peering around to make sure none of the other thieves were watching, Issa kissed him on the cheek. Max smiled. 

From outside the doorway, a shout rang out, and a shot clanged against the tightly closed doors. _Great. Here we go,_ Issa thought to herself. Lucy had foreseen this; the police, expecting the teenagers to be unprepared and ready to give up at the slightest sign of pushback from the cops.

Issa remembered Lucy pacing in front of the chalkboard, pen in hand, gesturing tightly as if she was imparting some ancient wisdom upon them all.  _ They expect us to be weak,  _ she had said, fixing her stare upon Dieke and Emma.  _ We need to show them that we are willing and ready to fight back. _

_ We aren’t killing anyone, though, right?  _ Wren had chimed in. Lucy shook her head.

_ Correct. But we need them to think that we have the ability to do so.  _

Another shot rang out, jolting Issa out of the past. Releasing Max, Issa spun towards the door, her shoulder-length hair flying through the air. She slid the Tolstoy mask over her face from where it had been tied around her neck, then approached the door. Dieke stood to the side of it, her hand wavering over the red button that would reopen it. Max slid into position next to Issa, mirroring Wren and Ava on the other side.

A third shot and a march of feet outside the door were heard, and Dieke looked to the back of the room, past the cowering hostages, to where Audrey stood, feet planted defiantly. Dieke tilted her head to the side in question. Audrey nodded, and Dieke’s hand came down upon the button, the doors starting to creak open. 

A couple shots from outside banged on the doors as they opened, and Issa flinched. Carefully, she, Max, Wren, and Ava approached the doors, then scurried out to hide behind the columns located in front of the building. They carefully returned fire to the cops - not hitting them, just enough to scare them. 

“This isn’t too bad, right, Pompeii?” Issa whispered to Max. Max, who was in the middle of poking his head out from behind the column to shoot, turned and flashed her a smile. “No,” he said warmly.

In that moment, a bullet struck him in the shoulder, and he fell backwards onto the floor. Issa, her heart dropping in her chest, saw red. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I don't think I'm going to end up finishing this fic. Life has just gotten too hectic and I am losing motivation :( I hope you enjoy this installment though! <3 :)


End file.
